A Date with Ebola

The Happy Hermit

“I am Ebola,” he said, extending his hand with rather too much confidence, as if this was a job interview instead of a date.

She hardly had time to sit down before he continued: “I am currently the most feared virus in the world. I have virtually shut down the Western part of Africa, with more than 5,700 confirmed deaths. I kill more than 50% of my victims, and lately I was even a hot topic in the US election campaign.”

“People all around the world are really scared of me,” he added after a pause which was too obviously planned for its effect. She could imagine him practicing it in front of the mirror.

As he rambled on about infections, symptoms, the lack of vaccines, the fear of medical staff, closed airports, she was no longer listening, checking out other people at the bar instead. It had been a mistake to agree on a…

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